that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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