At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
