I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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