This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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