The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
