I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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