Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
