we made out on top of his cat.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
