if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
