she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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