I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
