Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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