We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
