operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
