so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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