but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
