I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
