Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
