Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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