Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish I only lived at night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
