I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
