I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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