I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
