Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
