Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
