Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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