people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
