i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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