i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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