all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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