I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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