Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
