Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
