I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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