Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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