"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
