im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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