If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
