just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
