is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
