If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
