Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
