I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
