There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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