I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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