OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
