The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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