Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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