take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
