Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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