I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
