Im at strip club and am horny
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
